Germany made me fat



You probably landed her via Youtube! Hey y’all and thanks for stopping by. I decided (after a very long blogging break) that I would make a blogpost for this topic because it’s deserves a little more than a 14 minute rant on Youtube. I will hopefully not make it too long BUT we all know I like to rant and sometimes get carried away.

I know some of y’all watched the video and were/are thinking “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT HAYLEY”. Just hear me out before you start throwing stones. I have been dealing with my “weight” for awhile. I have gone through so many different stages of “body love” and I feel it’s something I can talk about because I have been through it all. At this current stage in my life (after having surgery to remove my cysts and taking birth control/hormone pills) I feel my body is as “natural” as it’s ever going to be.

In the USA the fitness/booty craze is taking over. I mean we all know the song “I like big butts and I can not lie”. The ridiculous amount of plastic surgery (Brazilian butt lifts, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tucks, botox, etc etc) in the USA makes it very clear to see what “sexy” is in the USA. Growing up around this mentality can be very hindering for a young girl and since living in Germany and coming back home I realize how bad this mentality really is BUT that does not mean Germany is perfect and gets no criticism.

I came to Germany in 2010 to visit and I remember at the time there were no “curvy” people. I honestly could not get over how many “thin” people there were in this small country. I knew it had to do with German people being more active and the infrastructure, healthy food, and many other factors BUT STILL… THERE WERE A BUNCH OF THIN PEOPLE. I went shopping at a store (h&m *cough cough*) and decided to look for basic jeans because after arriving in Germany for the first time, I realized my bootcut jeans were not in style. After looking high and low for “skinny” “slim cut” or even “boyfriend cut” jeans in my size, I came across 1 pair of jeans (out of about 20 that I tried on) that actually fit like a glove. Now granted shopping for jeans is nowhere near easy in the USA and it’s difficult no matter where you are in the world BUT I have never experienced going into a mainstream store and not being able to find at least 4 pair of jeans that fit me “good”.

I mean coming from the USA (as I stated in the video) I was around women who were loved for their curves, loved for their big butts, their thick thighs and everything else… I had this idea that everyone must think the same way. Now granted I do not think that your body really defines 100% how people see you. I mean I have experienced knowing someone and at first seeing them thinking “ehhh not that cute” and then getting to know who they were as a person and seeing them as one of the sexiest people in the world. Of course weight is a superficial aspect BUT it is a very huge market. I mean anything that is lucrative is a big deal. And we can all be honest that aesthetically pleasing is something we all notice, even if we do not want to.

I realized that what was sexy in one location wasn’t necessarily sexy in another. I noticed in tv talk shows or magazines that the girls looked nothing like me…. They looked like toothpicks (I am sorry if you are thin. I am not saying anything bad about you I am just stating how I felt). I started noticing in the German social media community that there was always someone talking about “diet pills” “losing weight” “no carbs” “dünn sein” and that I would overhear girls talking about not eating or instead of eating something they would rather drink a coffee or smoke a cigarette. I would go out with girls and while I got a burger with fries… Someone would get a salad or talk about not being able to eat what I was eating because they didnt want to gain weight or they were too fat and they were 2 sizes smaller than me.

Europe is the fashion capital of the world (Italy/France take the cake but Europe in general is very fashionable) and what is sold as “high” fashion is not sold to the mass public of “fatter” (fatter meaning anything over a size 38/40) people. I understood to an extent that ok “this is where I am, this is how they live. I should not judge” but after continuously hearing about my weight or someone else complaining about their weight I couldn’t help but realize I was surrounded by YET ANOTHER superficial obsession of “beauty standards” but this time I was no longer “ideal”. I would never NOT eat to lose weight (I LOVE FOOD) but there were times where I would second guess not eating a cookie because I was afraid to be judged or afraid to eat carbs because someone might say the reason I am “fat” was because of what I ate. I never considered myself fat, never actually considered my eating habits bad (I might be a little generous and nice to myself… My eating habits can sometimes be shit) but since living in Germany, I sometimes feel inadequate or judged by my outer shell.

I feel like women get so much shit in society. There are so many roles that women have to fill in order to be “good” (I mean why aren’t men attacked for losing weight? Why aren’t their “men” diet pills?) and as much as I would have liked to ignore everything that was being thrown at me by German society… It’s just not possible. I was confused because a nation like Germany, that fights so hard for women’s rights and gender equality had such a dark problem in regards to the younger generation and eating disorders and body shaming. Why was it that in the USA I felt more comfortable in my own skin than I did in Germany? I mean, I am not obese and I didn’t think I was overweight… Where was the problem? Why was I experiencing self doubt or had this internal thought that I wasn’t woman enough?

I guess sometimes I have a soft spot for certain topics and I feel like this one is such an important topic because it’s not specific to a certain person… It affects everyone and a lot of people are dealing with bad body image/acceptance… Not feeling comfortable in your own skin or being judge on how your body looks are societal standards that we have to break no matter where we are. I hope that one day it will get better, I know I have matured in so many ways when it comes to body acceptance and  I hope it only goes up from here. I am sending all of you girls that are dealing with the same problem a bunch of love! If you do however want to watch the video and didn’t get here from my Youtube channel click HERE .

I love you guys so much and just know you are sexy no matter what size you are no matter what a country’s beauty standards are!!! ❤




Hey y’all!

This will be a quick/short blog post. I am in the running for “best aupair blog 2017”. I decided to be a little more open in 2017 about my time as an aupair and give some advice. Low and behold someone found that advice good enough to nominate my blogpost.


The link is or you can CLICK HERE all you have to do is scroll down to the bottom of the page and click and you are done. I would appreciate any support!! Thanks so much you guys!


❤ Love Always



Hey everyone!


Since I have been talking about Starkbierfest (Nockherberg) for so long (I mean a week now). I have decided to make a very brief blog post dedicated to starkbierfest. I hope you saw my wonderful sarcastic video and if you haven’t you need to CLICK HERE

Munich (Bavaria actually but I will keep to Munich because I have a little more knowledge about Munich) is full of bierfests. I feel like the only things you can always be certain for in Munich are late s-bahns, changing weather, and bierfests.

The whole idea of beerfests is something so welcoming for me. The idea to drink, eat, socialize, and dance is something that really makes my heart happy. All over Munich and throughout the year there are many different types of bierfests. Whether it be Wiesn (Oktoberfest), Frühlingsfests, Starkbierfests, Waldfests, Sommerfests, etc etc. The supply of beerfests in Munich is ENOUGH and there will usually be one no matter what time of the year you show up.

I have been to Starkbierfest every year since I have been in Munich. I think for me it’s a tradition now. Plus it keeps me happy during these cold depressing winter months. Hopefully I will have a vlog up and running for you guys showcasing my time at Starkbierfest by next Sunday (I won’t make any promises). If you are in Munich and you are looking for something to do this weekend… Starkbierfest is here!

I wish you guys so much fun and lots of warm weather *hopefully* (I mean as warm as March in Munich can be).




Love always

Hayley ❤

Berchtesgaden… again

Hey everyone! 



I am so behind on blogging (as always) but I am trying to focus on Youtube a little bit and be able to make more videos. With that being said and getting it out of the way…. Mike and I went on one of our wonderful ausfluge- about a week or two ago. We ended up in route to Salzburg but decided to make a detour at Königssee and Berchtesgaden (Rossfeldpanoramastrasse). I have mentioned many many times that Berchtesgaden is BEAUTIFUL… and the definition of PERFECTION but what I have never mentioned is the fact that Königssee is one of the most breathtaking places in all of Bavaria/Germany.

It’s very hard for me to enjoy anything in Germany right now because the weather is really horrible. The temperature is painful for me and it just doesn’t bring the mood up but I have been trying my best to stay positive and push through. After our short *entertaining boat ride on Königssee (the captain played a little song on the trumpet…hopefully it was a trumpet and told us a wonderful story about the history that has to do with Bavaria/Königssee and so much more).

Afterwards we headed to Rossfeld and watched the sunset (Mike watched, I sat in the car sulking at the -11 degrees) and afterwards made our way to Salzburg to eat some of the best braised ribs I have ever had in my life.


Thank you so very much & lots of love from me to you!


❤ always Hayley

Shooting in America

As I sit in Starbucks (this is the only place with good internet) waiting for my next vlog to be uploaded I decided to make a blog post about what is about to be uploaded.


As most of y’all know, I am not the biggest gun fan in the world… and I have spoken about the wonderful “gun” problem we have in the USA… Gun problem/as*hole problem whatever you want to call it… I think too many people die a day in the USA due to guns. In the USA one of the biggest industries is the firearm industry. The amount of money spent on guns/maintenance is astonishing to me.

Mike decided he wanted to go shooting (shooting in Germany is not as easily accessible as it is in the USA) and we went to an indoor shooting range… It was seriously top of the line (in my opinion). If you are in the Lee county area of Florida (Fort Myers/Cape Coral or Naples) it’s a cool experience, if you’ve never shot a gun before… Mike wasn’t the only German there 😉 I will link it HERE
26981585_615749588757729_1941441578_oAfter just filling out the paperwork and giving our ID’s to the people we were allowed to let loose. We shot semi auto & automatic (well I didn’t shoot the automatic because it was too loud for me) Mike was in love!! He said that it was an awesome experience. In my opinion it’s better to shoot guns in a controlled “safe” environment with people around you that can help and know what they are doing.

SOOOO did I do good?

Not really -_- I am usually a better shot but this was my first time shooting at a range and the amount of noise/shots going off from every direction scared me. Mike, my brother and mom did awesome but maybe next time I will prove myself :p


Love Always,


Disney World

Good Morning/Evening/Afternoon

So I ended up at Disney last weekend. It was a family trip (a family friend’s daughter celebrated her birthday) and I spent 2 magical days at Magic Kingdom and Hollywood Studios. It has been a few years since my last Disney trip and let me tell you….Magic Kingdom was PACKED. I have seriously never seen so many people in an amusement park before.

I have been to Disney more times than I can count and I do not remember it being so crowded… Hour long lines just to meet Jasmine :p Unfortunately I did not get any pictures with Mickey but it was still beautiful and worth it. The weather (aside from not packing a proper jacket) was beautiful and there were seriously not that many clouds in the sky…. The sun was shining like a diamond!

I am so happy that I was able to go back to Disney and relive my childhood and I am so thankful my mom made it all possible 😉 … Sometimes it’s really good for you to be a kid again 😀 I hope it’s not freezing in Germany anymore! I promise I am sending a bunch of  sun!!! *If you are planning a Florida/Disney trip anytime soon please be sure to do everything in advance* There are certain rides/restaurants that are sold out for reservations and fast passes for at least a year -_-



Love always,

Hayley ❤

Florida 2018

Hey y’all! 


I am a little behind with everything but I have finally gotten settled in and have time to do my social media stuff. Florida is awesome y’all (right now there is a “cold front” and we can’t really go to the beach) but we are still enjoying our time. I have been eating too much… As was expected but I hope to start working out sometime this week. Tonight I am going shooting and will kick everyones butt in target practice.

I spent the first couple of days in Naples with a wonderful 23 degrees and clear skies….It’s currently season in Florida so there are a bunch of Germans here and people from up north. I feel like I’m back in Munich with sunshine :p


Love y’all ❤